So I have decided to try the blog thing again. Tonight my sweetheart is somewhere in the middle of the ocean. I am left here to fend for myself, without the comfort of his voice, without his patient guidance, and quiet reassurance, without the confidence that he gives me. So, I will keep busy with friends and work.
The odd thing is that we are already not seeing each other much. We are in a long distance relationship. So why am I so affected by this separation? Since the first part of August, around 5 months, we have spoken on the phone every night except one.
We talked this afternoon, until his ship was pulling out of port. When we said good-bye, I thought I was going to be fine. I looked at this as an opportunity to catch up on a lot of things. I went about doing my chores, put some scented wax on the warmer, and turned on the ipod. Then one of those songs, on the sleepy time list, "The Way You Look Tonight" hit me, and hit me hard. I was sobbing before I knew it, and missing him, and aching all over, having one of my little panic attacks.
After pacing through the house for awhile, I made a funny discovery... the time. It was only about six o'clock. The reason that was so funny, was that we usually didn't talk on the phone until at least 9 o'clock in the evening. Why was I having such a hard time, missing him so much, when I usually would have to wait for hours before I talked to him? I pulled myself together, and carried on.
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